I see her.

I'm not sure if I've given this girl a name yet, but if I haven't, I'll call her Russia. Russia's from the same town as me. We both go to chemistry class. She's pretty young, (18.) and I can't help but try to be with every girl I meet. So yeah, I've got a target. She isn't HOT, but she's very cute. I like her personality, but her body isn't everything I could dream of. A couple major things I dislike about her: She watches the disney channel, she loves animals and wants to be a veterinarian.

Now if you read my blogs about the other girls, you'd realize there's a pattern forming with the exception of Kryptonite. 2nd regret: Africa - Vegan, Loves animals, Watches disney, Watches over puppies for sale. Fearless - LOVES animals in general, Watches disney. Princess - loves animals, wanted to be a veterinarian, owns and rides horses. Georgia and Stars don't really count for this because I've never really gotten close to them.

Now what do those things mean to me? Someone who deeply loves animals? X, used to love animals. X, used to ride horses. X, cared about animals so much she was vegetarian.And well about disney channel.. It was our last argument that set me off the edge. Not to mention it felt like it molded her personality.

(it was late at night, and i really wanted to sleep. The Jonas brother's was on. I couldn't tone out the background laughter. The pg-7 jokes about how one of the brothers thinks he's "all that" but the other two are contrastingly judging him because he's normal. The disney channel is fucking torture.

"Can you turn that off please?"
she spoke in a short tempered manner.
"No."
"At least change the fucking channel."
"Why?"
"It's the fucking disney channel it's meant for kids."
"SO, I like it."
"It's just really fucking irritating just change the fucking channel anything but this."
"Well, why is it irritating?"
my voice raised, but I couldn't feel it. I didn't realize until thinking now, that my face was crumpled; filled with anger and belligerence.
"JUST FUCKING CHANGE IT!"
"FINE."
she shut the tv off, and turned around.
I turned the opposite direction, filled with fire to pull the trigger.
I broke up with her the next day.

...I suddenly miss )

I don't want to take a step back into something I already had.

Russia, seems like she's in her own world. So busy with her friends. But it's understandable because she just came back from college for the summer. I caught her staring at me twice last week. Yesterday when I spoke to her, she was very fidgety. The anxiety seems to cut through her like butter. Does she like me?  I want to say, probably.

It's what I want. Her to like me. But I have my doubts. I see her now, on facebook as online in the messenger. I'm greatly tempted to ask her if she wants to hang out or do something.

Or even just to say hey.