Father.

You're not perfect.
But I've always loved you.

From when I was a boy,
You were not there.

You lived in a far place,
where mother and I
traveled very far too.

I remember your shop.
The brick walls, dusty
and darkened by exhaust.

The curb that awkwardly surrounds your front door,
How high I lifted my knee when I was so young.
How it reminds me of how you lifted me on your shoulders.

Rusty, your great dane
Who was a giant in hands
How he was so majestic
When he roamed your lot

The way you asked about my life
Funny how you did
Because i was so young

You're pencil mustache
Which was so Retro
And out dated.

When you made fun
of my Mohawk
I said to you,
Coming from the guy
With a pencil mustache
and Pink Tinted Glasses

I was stabbing for blood then,
Now,
I think back
and regret
every
moment
spent
sour.

The next time I saw you
You were shaven,
With new glasses (untinted.)

I want to take back those words
so bad, knowing i hurt my father
I want your dumb glasses
and your dumb statche.

I want you to be happy,
Even though our words together,
won't last forever.

I sit here at home,
behind my doors

You never called,
And many would say
you just never bothered.

But i know you,
Because how I know myself so well.
How i'm just a newer grown shell
Of you in me.
How we think so hard about things
We want to do.
But stay way, from the fear.
The fear that we both knew

I know despite them dad,
That you always cared,
that you've always thought
just never dared.

We are far closer
Than many will see,
Because I barely know you
and you barely know me.












I called him today, the day after fathers day. I was too pressured to call. i could have. I didn't. He told me today, his brother died. I was in a surprise, I don't think anyone saw it coming. He (himself) then told me he went back for surgery for a hernia. They found a tumor. I think it's in his lungs, because of the cigarettes he's lipped since 10. There's no way i can tell for sure. Until i see him sometime this week. He said he would call, it's strange. He never has.