Getting Closer.

I'm not sure what I want to write about right now.

I'm a little worried about Tuesday. I haven't spoken to her in maybe 3 days? I hope she made out okay today. I 'm afraid I find myself being able to hurt her far too easy. I don't intend to. I think sometimes that the words i write carry far more meaning than they should. It makes me want to be very precarious with everything i write. But, I believe in honesty and to follow true to it. I should really think about what I say though.

I've told her many times before, I'm broken. I'm sure I am. I was in a bout of depression the other night, and when i'm depressed I honestly feel a strong certain something for her. When I'm not in this bout, I'm not as loose in my words to speak to her about how much I care. I mean, I deeply care for her as a friend and maybe more, but. When i'm depressed, I feel like she's the only one I can rely on. Like she's the only one that can make the pain away. The amount that I need her increases 10 fold. There's something very important I should consider though. Is it right that I act out so strongly for her while I'm depressed? Is it the true emotion I feel? Or is this true emotion we feel.. just the most consistent one?