Monday, July 11, 2011

Self-Induced Crazy.

I admit, I'm feeling more frustrated and confused as a cause to myself. I believe I will be more crazy today, therefore I will be more crazy today. I skipped taking some of these herbs i've been taking today, ginko biloba and panax ginseng. And I just believe it in my heart that without them, i'll start losing it. To what extent, the extent i was before taking them. Unless I try to poorly rationalize another harmful belief, than it'll be worse.

*Start.*
Searching Anxiety...
Searching Pain...
Searching Frustration...

inverse thought, Tuesday's the only one who understands me.

What the FUCK do I want? What the FUCK does anyone want. Why the FUCK is anyone sated. Why the FUCK can't i just not think of the future. Why can't i just be happy with what I have right now instead of focusing on what will come next? I can't help it. I think, "Ok. I have it. Awesome. What's next? Nothing. Oh. Ok. Stasis." Maybe I should go see that psychotic. I called him the other day saying I had to cancel because I wanted a doctors Referral. I wish I had a recorder so I can record the conversation.

I spent the last 10 minutes trying to find my headset and getting it to work. No avail.

My cousins  home.

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