A Cut Through Space And Time.

I didn't take it yet. But I just got home from dwarf's house. Tuesday where are you.

I wanted to write, about how, in the midst of depression. I broke out of it slightly. When I first met up with jobro and his gf, I was short, angsty, and showed i was angry- at life. They didn't think anything of it, but it helped take the depression out.

Something else that really helped me cut it out was actually talking to myself as if i were two different people. One who was cool, to the point, and stern. The other who was far too sensitive, weak, and how I am, myself, recently. It was the worst and best in me. I spoke to myself like I do here. It felt empowering to talk to myself like that.

Lastly, to further inject days and moments into the time before I slip this pill, I find that another effective way of beating it is, Not Thinking. Not thinking about Anything. Just, Express. Act. And Move on.

So you cunt, what's up now?

Nothing, i'm just.. Trying to shake it off.

Shake it off?

Shake off this haze.

Haze? Is that what we call it now?

Well, It's the depression.. I think.. I can't place it for a fact.

Well, what is the definition of depression?

I don't know.

Why don't you know?

Because of the Haze.

Interesting. It sounds like theres a chance it cant be depression.

That's true.

I mean when your depressed they list the symptoms like, loss of interest, over tendency to sleep, not eating over eating, sad or irritable mood, agitation or restleessness, constant fatigue or loss of energy, Frequent feelings of worthlessness or guilt, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, frequent thoughts of suicide.

Well, i've thought of suicide, i have difficulty concnetrating, and i haveee a loss of interest or pleasure in activities.

Hmm.. That's about 3 out of a few isnt it.

Yeah.

What do you think it is?

Something that needs to go.

If it went how would you be?

Hungry.

Hungry?

For life.

You're not hungry for life?

I don't think so. I just.. want..

Want what?

Solace. That feeling of being at ease. That feeling of hating spending every moment not doing anything. Being able to get what I need from others.

Interesting.

You've work in 5 hours or so.

I know.

Why don't you sleep?

I was hoping for Tuesday.