Ghosting

Our Protagonist: so tell me

Our Protagonist: what do you think of me?

Our Protagonist: lol.

Ghost: i think you're a genuinely nice person who can hold a good and interesting conversation unlike many other people haha, you seem to have a lot of interests and you know what you want to do with your life and you're a driven and hardworking person and its definitely respectable

Ghost: i dont really know what im supposed to say

Ghost: i dont really remember what you said about me

Our Protagonist: hahah..

Our Protagonist: i said just about everything i thought of you

Our Protagonist: like everyyything

Our Protagonist: so you still owe me another two paragraphs punk

Ghost: i cant even remember it

Our Protagonist: lol ouch i see how it is

Ghost: well its ambien, not me lol

Ghost: i could see us being friends for a long time but i'm afraid you'll think that i'm "leading you on".  it's too late for me to be in a relationship because i'll be ~5 hours away in less than two months, i cant do long distance and if i "started" something with you then i feel like it would end up being a bad situation once i left, you know what i mean?

Ghost: thats just honestly how i feel about that situation, im sure thats part of what you wanted to know haha

Our Protagonist: haha i absolutely wanted to know that

Our Protagonist: i wouldn't do long distance either, but i'm kind of not thinking of the future

Ghost: yeah i feel like it would be irresponsible for me to start a serious relationship with anybody at this point

Our Protagonist: nottt if you know everything that it entailed i feel

Ghost: what do you mean

Our Protagonist: like, i know that you'd be leaving in two months and all, but I wouldn't think of it at all

Our Protagonist: i'd pretend that it would never happen

Our Protagonist: although i'd accept that it would

Ghost: and that would be a bad thing if you pretended that i wasnt going to leave haha

Our Protagonist: hahah, i know, but it's something i'd rather do than not do

Ghost: if you have attachment issues to someone you never dated, imagine if you did date them and then they left

Ghost: like i cant take serious relationships now, i could never promise that once i'm at college i wouldn't be with other people

Our Protagonist: yeah but that was like way back when when i was a super nerd

Our Protagonist: like the first girl i talked to who flirted with me lol

Our Protagonist: now it feels like i've got a good understanding for it

Our Protagonist: and i wouldn't expect a serious relationship from you if that's what your infering lol

Ghost: well that's a good thing haha

Our Protagonist: i'd just let whatever be whatever be

Our Protagonist: and when you go you go

Our Protagonist: if we ever did have something or whatever in these two months, i'd just be glad i had it lol

Our Protagonist: and hope that you enjoy college and do what you love

Our Protagonist: i wouldn't be destroyed or anything by it

Ghost: but if you did have something and it was more serious to you than it was to me and i went to college and decided to be with other people, do you think you'd get like crazy jelly?

Our Protagonist: nah.

Our Protagonist: i'd want you to run free and do what makes you happy

Our Protagonist: i'm weird like that i guess lol

Our Protagonist: like i want my ex to be happy and i was really happy for her when she got a new boyfriend

Ghost: i just got the impression that it would be a problem

Ghost: since you said you got jealous when another guy messaged me on okcupid lol

Our Protagonist: hahah

Our Protagonist: that's just a guy thing

Our Protagonist: or at least my guy thing

Ghost: i understand

Our Protagonist: do you!?

Ghost: yes i do

Our Protagonist: lol

Ghost: i'm a jelly person too

Ghost: i'm not one to get crazy though

Our Protagonist: yeah i would never act on it but i'd let whoever i was with know how i was feeling

Our Protagonist: i wouldn't yell at them! lol but i'd just you know let them know how things made me feel

Ghost: but what if you wanted to hang out with me within the next two months and i hooked up with someone else in those two months

Ghost: haha

Our Protagonist: haha well in that case i'm pretty sure i'd be done with you

Our Protagonist: is that weird?

Ghost: so then why would it be different once i went away?!

Our Protagonist: lol

Our Protagonist: hm

Our Protagonist: because!

Ghost: youre just making things upp

Our Protagonist: then i know i couldn't be with you

Our Protagonist: what!?

Our Protagonist: i'm totally not

Ghost: you'd be attached and you know it

Our Protagonist: haha

Our Protagonist: i'm not saying i wouldn't be, i'm just saying i know what's going to happen and i'm okay with it

Our Protagonist: i'm not one to cry over spilt milk

Our Protagonist: i want to f'n enjoy what i can while i can

Ghost: so i have to be faithful for two months in a "relationship" that wasn't going to last but once i got away to college i'm allowed to do what i want?

Our Protagonist: haha yeah pretty much in a very rough view

Our Protagonist: but only if you wanted to

Ghost: i dont see how thats fair haha

Our Protagonist: fair to who lol?

Ghost: to both of us?  idk

Ghost: that situation just seems weird

Our Protagonist: hahah..

Our Protagonist: so it is weird that i'm like that huh?

Our Protagonist: but it is fair, i mean as long as your okay with it

Our Protagonist: i know i will be

Ghost: i just think its weird that you're willing to do something for the two months while you can, even if i dont think its a good idea, but im not allowed to see anyone else until i go away to school

Our Protagonist: haha your making it sound like i'm making rules for you

Ghost: thats how it does sound!

Our Protagonist: hahah...

Our Protagonist: well i'm just saying i'd love to be with you.. weird to say that without really knowing what your like in person but whatever lol.. as long as you were faithful to me and if you ever hooked up with some other guy i'd just be done with it

Our Protagonist: it's more just of how i roll than rules you have to follow lol

Our Protagonist: silenceee..

Ghost: i can't guarantee that i wont, because there's other people ive talked to before i met you who want to meet me as well

Our Protagonist: lol alright than

Ghost: i'm just trying to be honest with you lol

Our Protagonist: good!

Our Protagonist: i don't want you to be otherwise lol

Ghost: i do like you, i just can't do something serious

Ghost: i have my own attachment issues anyway

Our Protagonist: is that something serious?

Our Protagonist: do you?

Ghost: i think someone requiring that you remain faithful to them is kind of serious

Ghost: and yeah i do

Ghost: like i said i get jelly

Our Protagonist: haha i guess it's what you make it

Our Protagonist: i don't think it matters what you call it, serious or not, as long as your cool with what your doing

Our Protagonist: but ahh i see, jelly sucks doesn't it? lol

Our Protagonist: but i don't think i could ever not like someone and be in a "serious" type deal i guess hm



She stopped typing. But I don't think I should have as well, so I'll continue here. Hmm. Is this really what I want? Having whatever I can with her before those 2 months? Yeah. It really is. I just want the experience. I want to know what it's like. To date. To know another girl.

Ghost: i know what you mean
Ghost: i just cant do serious right now
Our Protagonist:: lol do you? than how come you
Our Protagonist:: ah
Our Protagonist:: but like say if you did hook up with one of us ok cupid guys lol
Our Protagonist:: like one week
Our Protagonist:: and than started hanging out with another one of us
Our Protagonist:: would you hook up with them as well?

Ghost: i dont know

Ghost: it depends on how much i liked the other person

Ghost: if i was attached

Ghost: i dont know

Our Protagonist: haha alright i'm sorry i didn't mean to sweat your jeans

Ghost: haha i'm sorry

Ghost: i just really only thought about going with the flow of things

Our Protagonist: for what! you did nothing

Ghost: i just know for sure a serious thing isnt like going to happen

Ghost: i feel like its disappointing or whatever

Our Protagonist: just let it be! don't hold an expectation lol

Our Protagonist: hmm i'm still pretty sure i'd like to hang out with you though haha, just mention though if you do hook up with someone else if we do end up hanging out that is

Our Protagonist: just because i'd want something you call serious doesn't mean we could'nt have something else besides that

The conversation is still going on but I want to type. Hm, I'm starting to feel a little uneasy, like my base is misplaced. Probably because i have to deal with the fact now that I'll have to find someone else. I think this might be a huge pillar in my craziness. Having this huge goal set in my mind that I need to find someone and that when I don't take steps toward achieving this goal I get more crazy.

Ghost: yeah but youd be like mad if i did

Our Protagonist: I wouldn't!

Our Protagonist: i know that you could do it so i'm fine with it, i'd  stop liking you as much is all

Our Protagonist: doesn't mean we couldn't be friends doesnt it?

Our Protagonist: plus i want to know what the hell other girls are like rofl

Our Protagonist: and someone as awesome you would be a great place to start finding out

Our Protagonist: does it*

Ghost: i do want to be friends!

Ghost: i just feel like you would take it more serious than i do

Ghost: honestly thats just the impression ive gotten

Our Protagonist: hm

Our Protagonist: what if i did take more seriously?

Ghost: then i'd get nervous about it

Our Protagonist: lol

Our Protagonist: why so

Our Protagonist: that youd disappoint me?

Ghost: that i'd have to deal with someone who's gotten attached to me when i dont feel the same way

Our Protagonist: ahh i see

Our Protagonist: alright lol

Our Protagonist: hm interesting

I've lost what this means to me. I think I'm tired. I think I'm starting to not give a shit. I want to tell ghost that I'm going to go to sleep. I should. But I don't know. I don't want to leave at the same time.


Our Protagonist: i think i'ma sleep
Our Protagonist: tty tomorows?
Ghost: mkayy
Our Protagonist: nights
Ghost: goodnight

Forever after.