Assume every fall. Never take the glory.

It's the way my mind has been working recently. I realized I'm writing because I believe people will read it. That's a pretty interesting thought. Considering the fact that i've been writing straight out of my head without any.. thought to what it might come off as. I usually re-read something I write and just feel the emotion of writing it.

Hey you.
Yeah?
What are you feeling right now?
I don't...
Know?
Yeah.
You seem cloudy.
I think I am. All I can focus on is what I don't have right now.
Do you think it's chemical?
Maybe.
Do you think it's because a series of events?
Yeah.
Hm.
Hm is right.
You feel tired.
I do.
Where's Tuesday?
I'm not sure. I hope she's okay.
Talk more about Tuesday.
Alright, I knew she liked me, the way she did. I did like her too, but I shouldn't have. She really understood me I felt, ya know?
I think so.
My mind will probably rot at a faster rate without her. But that's okay, it's what has to happen. I shouldn't have told her how I felt, and hoped she would feel the same way. I do care about her like that and all, but, the broken is where it gets funky.
What do you mean?
I could love her, and treat her and hold her in my heart like a girlfriend. I wanted to, but I know as soon as someone else came along, closer, I'd drop her from that status like a hat. I'd still be there for her though.
How could you love someone, yet be ready to throw them away so quickly?
I don't know. I just can.
It seems like that doesn't make sense logically.
You're right it doesn't, hence the broken.
Do you think you hold yourself back from truly loving someone, because you'll get hurt?
No. I just think that getting hurt is inevitable, so i just accept all that hurt has to give.
Interesting.
Yeah saying it like that feels so.
Tell me about Ghost.
Ghost?
Yes, Ghost. She'll be there for a moment, and she'll scare you the way you want to be. and than one day she'll leave, evaporate into thin air.
True. Well let's see. She's pretty intense to say the least. I don't know what to make of her. My emotions.. they're so fucking intense ever since I lost it. Not my emotions in liking her, but my emotions in anxiety. It felt like i had to climb a mountain to just say what I originally had in mind. I felt like her every word could have been a trapdoor to a pitfall of punji spikes. You know i'm realizing, I have a shit ton of baggage. It feels like the reverberation of all the work I put into X.
Let's stop.
Yeah.