It feels like my mind is splitting in every single direction possible. I can't keep one track. I can't remain in a solid straight line. Its drunk. I really find no purpose in doing anything anymore. I'm fucking flipping back and forth through depression. Ugh.
I wonder if I had more friends this would cure this bullshit feeling.
should have done:
hey dude sup? doing anything today?
I'm super bored let's f'n do something.
what i did:
contemplate what ifs.
Today felt wasted. But I need to work through my shit first. I hate facebook. I want fucking people I can trust. That don't bullshit. That understand the same thoughts I have. I need some fucking relation I'm going insane.
Africa seemed jealous the other day. I loved it, but I begged my friend not to make her so, she was going through the shit with comatose brody still. I need E-fucking-VENTS to occur in my own life. Ones that i find worth while and fucking sate me. I'm so fucking hungry for more constantly. Hungry for something to occupy my time.
I think i haveee no hobbies. Want games, but they're expensive, want to skim no one to skim with, want to surf, cant float/swim for long, want to skate, hip problems. want to draw, but it's boring, i've watched several movies and i'm ending up like the character from Yes Man with jim carey.
How the fuck can I be myself again?
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