I got confused somewhere along the way with Africa, where she liked me so well but suddenly didn't. She liked me and said i was the most mature and real person she knew. I now know it's because I knew myself. I knew what I could do and what I couldn't do. I didn't try to stretch out my personality to meet the standards of others. I mean eventually I could become what I wanted to, but not that fast, not that blind, and that hurt. It was just too overwhelming for me and I denied to realize it. I also spoke to soon for what I thought was her. I told her she wasn't weird at all and that anyone is crazy for believing that. I'd take back those words if I could.. I mean I fully believe you should be whoever you want and do whatever you want. But the way she acts and carries herself makes me want to avoid and be embarrassed for her. This is just my sole opinion and I'm sure there's someone out there who would think she's completely normal.
I need to find myself once again, know what I'm capable of and never deny it. Your mind can't forget who you are, so don't try to fool it into believing your someone else. A theory: when it comes to any choice we make, we only do what we want to. So try to listen to your innate you, not the you that is affected by social and cultural contexts.
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