I tell myself this everyday because I'm always afraid. Of everything. How do you break fear? Face it. But the most important part is, don't just do the act and look the other way. You need to commit to it and stay within the feelings for it. Accept everything that the fear has to offer and take it in mouthfuls.
I spent 10 minutes looking at my friend on face book just being logged into the messenger. I could barely take the thought of speaking to him. I didn't know what to say. I want to say I took a moment to think of myself and the shit I'm in and what could go wrong. But I didn't. My ego or id or whatever you want to call subconscious thought, came up with it on its own. I think whatever in me just grew a couple of braincells. Or at least a pair of balls. I spoke to him, saying "hey whats up so how you been spending time in pleasantville?" It's long, over drawn out and a multiple question question. I'm starting to realize I think to much.
We talked a bit and every moment after I sent a message, I was afraid he'd never speak to me again if i said something dumb. Social anxiety is pretty fucking embarrassing.
He asked me if i was going out tonight, i said uh no lol but i will if you got any ideas. and he said he might. I pulled off being smooth somehow.
I usually wouldn't go out on a Friday cause of work at 7 in the morning on Saturday but hey you know what? Momento mori, I'm not going to live forever, and today may be my last.
Bite The Bullet.
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