Not truly waiting for me of course in that sense. I plan to speak to her today if she's at school. On a Friday... I wonder what that says about her. How she spends her time.. School on a Friday must mean she's very focused on work and really wants to do well. Or if your my case, hate spending time alone because it makes you realize that your a loser and you have no friends.
I plan on posting in some love forum:
Topic Headline: Why do I feel like finding someone so badly?
Short Story: I can't help but feel the need to find someone. I got out of a 4 year relationship about 6 months ago and I'm the one who ended it. She was my first girlfriend, and I found myself to be prone to talking to other girls and wishing I had something with them. So I decided to break it off, I couldn't do that to her.
After the relationship I've went from meeting a few girls and having it end up no where. I didn't mind. I really didn't care if i was single or if i had someone. All until the most recent girl i met.
She messed me up more so than leaving a four year relationship. For a week straight we spoke to each other everyday on the phone for at least four hours before we slept. Than one day it all changed. She said she liked me but said I was too perfect for her. Saying that being with me would make her so scared to mess up and that having something so precious or important in her life would drive her insane. Be it truth or farce, I don't care I just wish it never happened.
Ever since then, I've been stricken with this unending feeling of need. I can't think, I can't focus, I'm in such a huge depression from it. I have few friends which more than likely makes my situation worse. (I lost them all from my ex's controlling relationship.) It's been 4 months of this desperate need for another. I really could care less about college, my degree, my hobbies, almost everything.
Extra shit:
I've always had a bit of social anxiety, to where I'd never eat meals with my family. I've had no reason not to, they're as loving as could be. I never came close to a girl until I was 17. Before that point the only thing I was close to was becoming permanently fused with my computer.Video games were my life. Then in some stranger occurrence than being struck by lightening, my friends introduced me to a girl. I was horrible, they may as well have attached strings to my hands and feet because I didn't know what i was doing. I wanted to be with her but being a anti-social computer nerd didn't really help much.
I changed some stuff because i sounded like a pussy. haha. www.loveforum.net
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