Despite a Broken Word

I'm going to try to write how i feel in words or phrases or however the fuck i want it to be.

But first, daily life:

I've begun speaking to Stars through text's today and i think i managed to keep my horrible conversational skills to a minimum. I can't talk about what i want to. I also begun speaking to Georgia through text's as well.. she's a very.. quite-mid-kept-librarian type of girl. That's very uninteresting to me. When I saw her rather artsy photo on face book and saw that she was Australian i instantaneously thought quite the opposite, i was surprised and immediately attracted. She told me she just put the Australian thing for kicks, but she still has the photo thing going on.

Begin:

fucking broke. beating. yet still breathing. why is it so hard to find where i stand? to be effortless as the many provoke themselves to be. to be a miss with inhibitions and realization. to quell thought at it's home. ive been infected. deep. rationalization is all that i see, i feel i climbed a wrong tree. fucking rhymes bother me. to be where the others don't know is hard to become one of the equivalent. i take stabs at the life where i so greatly choose to be. i fail more times than i can count. or at least i feel like i do. but to evaluate is impossible, at least it seems. i cannot fixate. stand in the one spot destined to be. i' fucking crawl, on the floor of broken glass i bleed. is it pain? or am i blind to find all that is real to be nothing but just a fantasy. DO AS I SPEAK AND ALL WILL BE WELL.