Tomorrow's valentines day, and it's the first in 4 years that I've spent it alone. I was a pretty shit valentine from what I could remember. I was paralyzed by the horror of not having it be perfect. So I never tried. I should remind myself and set it in my mind that it is better to have tried than to have never tried at all.
I look forward to seeing Fearless and hopefully doing something I don't know what... anything to try and get us together.. I mean I want to try and start something with her don't I?
Hm well shit that was an unexpected occurrence. I'm feel like I'm finally learning an unspoken language we all silently speak.
I daydreamed all week playing the piano for her.. Even though that's kind of creepy haha. Running scenarios through my head..
As fearless leaves the room,
"hey, wait up!"
she turns around.
"Do you know a song.. called daylight by matt and kim?"
Variable 1:
"Yeah I think so."
"Come here, I've been trying to practice it all week could you tell me if it's any good?"
Walk over to pianos.
Play the song...
"So how was it?! I've only been playing like a week."
Variable 1a
"That was actually pretty good!"
"Good, i'm glad you liked it. So do you play any instruments or what not?"
Variable 1b
"Ehh.. I think I picked it up."
"..Well i'm still really learning i guess. Any requests for next week? Hah."
Variable 2:
"Nope, never heard of them."
"Well fuck, never mind than."
I'm not going to do anything I know is uncomfortable, not matter how much I want it.
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