Bite your tongue

I met a girl 2 days ago.

I'll call her Sovereign. She's free of cares, worries, and chains.

I spent all day with her yesterday high.

She's awesome, but I don't think she's into me as much as I'm into her.

I met her in the mall and got her number...

She hugged me good bye last night and told me she had a lot of fun and to text me.
She dressed up real nice to hangout with me.
She was shy when she had her high moments.
I made her laugh consistently.

I have a strange feeling and belief, matter of fact, that I'm going to fuck it up.

I always do.

And I know I can't have nice things.

My life, is the epitome of
Close but no cigar.
What if.
If only.

I don't know why I still try to meet girls, I know I'll always fuck up. Gah, i'm a fucking.. paranoid lunatic.

I feel depressed right now because I believe she didn't enjoy the time with me, that I just put so much of myself out there that she just laughed to be nice.

Don't look at me, that way.

Cause I'll be hanging from a rope.

And I will haunt you like a ghost.