Just woke up.

I will not speak to her, unless she speaks first. It's a start.

Okay so talk to me shit-face. Whats the matter now?

I feel like everything I say is misconnected. I'm fucking upset because i put so much effort and thought into my words and I feel like she doesn't even give a shit. and i've been doing it forever.

what do you mean misconnected?

I mean i try to make connections with her so we can relate.

Do you think you have to try so hard to relate with someone?

no..

How do you think she feels?

I can't really fucking tell she likes me sometimes and sometimes she doesnt.

Well why the fuck do you think she deserves you?

She doesn't.. I have no self-respect or idea of value. I am valueless.

Well guess what shitface theres your problem. Get some fucking value.

Easy for you to say.

No it's not that fucking hard. IT's just getting over your fears.

What the fuck do you think i'm afraid of?

You tell me asshole you don't want to accept it

I'm afraid of being alone.

You are alone. So what are you afraid of.

Being alone for a long time?

Born alone die alone.

I can't tell right now what i'm afraid of.

Well think deep mother fucker. Do you really like the way she is? Do you like her laugh? Do you like how she'll just blow you off when you have a different opinion? Do you like her pride when she says your wrong? Do you think that she's worth making you spend important times of your life sad and upset, instead of happy and fulfilled?

NO i don't like any of those things. At all.

Then step up, swallow the fucking horse pill, and get your ass out of this shithole. Stomp on the pedal and don't look back. Don't feel sorry, don't feel like she'll have a good idea, it's all about trying to get her to like you. Your done with this shit.-- Also do what makes you happy be it porn, video games, drawing, photography, talking to anyone, doing things for people, anything. Don't be worried about making a repertoire of personality traits that you think are awesome. Don't let some dumb girl's judgments change you. You are who you are, and that's all you can be.

why the hell do i have to talk to myself to figure out problems now??

you tell me.