I attempted to pry my eyes from the room of younger girls to prevent myself from getting attached. It wasn't long until I became resentful of every person around me.
"What's your name?" She prodded with a smile.
"Protagonist."
"Ana, nice to meet you. Where are you from?"
I just came back from my first NA meeting. There were far too many younger girls there. I realized I'm out of control. I demanded their attention. I wanted their affliction. I wanted their eyes to be on me. Give us the strength to loosen the grip on the reins of life. I prayed. I averted my eyes from the crowd when possible but found it near impossible to not have their presence affect me. I'm crazy. I wanted to speak but couldn't. I felt defeated. I quickly became full of thorns to avoid everyone. I wanted to get out.
Of stories told, I could careless. I've become heartless. A girl spoke about her sponsor dying of an overdose nearly a year ago and her anniversary is upcoming. She made it seem like a very devastating event in her life. I couldn't care. I couldn't be less empathetic. I felt nothing. I spoke to her later on about getting a book, she easily portrayed her emotions of wanting to be isolated as she previously spoke aloud in the meeting.
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