"I want you."
Im in AA as per usual. I got utterly pissed before leaving to get here. I have a paper I need to be filled out every meeting I attend to. I couldnt find it. Two weeks of attendance, gone. Fucking great. I usually dont let anger preturb me longer than sixty seconds. But in this case? I was late, it was raining, I was hungry, and I barely had traction under my balding tires. I was a vulgar hurricane of slurs and anger inside my two door coupe. I wondered, maybe this nature is strmming from my new found.. State of being? Ive missed meds for three days and... Im happy? The anger sounds like im not doing well... But the change in my personality.. its a signal that I am changing. Changing is one thing I havent felt in a long time. Its profound. This slightest glimpse of hope is a drop of water in a long drought desert.
The days I take my medicine I feel the lowest. Its as if the spirit of my depression had been sucked into the pills I took like an evil genie in a lamp.
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