I woke up on my old couch in my parents house. It was covered with a soft material to keep dog dander off but really harbored tons of dog germs. I felt my contacts dried up against the iris of my eye. Some cartoon show was on the big 46 inch tv and the smell of stale banana bread welcomed my senses. My mother left it out for me to eat before she left, I guess I passed out. It was 430 in the morning. I felt a sense of failure in my heart knowing I didn't answer mikail or my cousin. I felt id let them down as I usually do. I told myself I don't care, all I need is... Ember... my mind felt like the floor just fell out from under me. A highrise white collar cubicle maze had just sunken in the ground and I've a new intense relationship with velocity. I thought of her and my mind had already well associated the thought of her with checking my phone. I desperately searched for it as this feeling of depression sat on my skin like a splash of acid. I tossed and turned unsheveling myself and the couch. I gave up and tried to diffuse the on comming panic attack telling myself to breathe and give up and move on. I calmed down. I found my phone, everything I hurt for is made up now. All my pain can cease to exist! Ember must have messaged me. She must have left me messages. *check* No one. No Ember. No Mikail. At that point I felt terrible. I tried to make my pain go away by eating some bread.
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