What the fuck does it mean to be human. We're all fucking machines. I'm coming out of a drunk earlier today. Had some test and did fucking poorly. The test was full of shit. I feel cold hearted. I'm losing alotttt of emotion for everything.
Ok so let's get my write on. Came home drunk last night after we skipped the end of class. Tried to get ireland and her friend to come with us. I have a horrible habit of thinking that everytime a girl asks about you they're interested in you. Christ i'm pathetic.
Girl, a new player has entered. She studies in the same study room as me.. she's a nursing student alike me but she's a semester behind. I first met her due to a strange pain in the ass person who said that there was free monster in the student center. I plan on asking her today if she wants to come with me to go get coffee. I hope shes there today. But of course I have to get over my nerves. Fucking nerves.
The game has said to fuck nerves and believe that you've already lost. To pay attention to the 3 second rule. Basically to pretend she's not a girl that you could potentially fall in love with. So the goal, according to the game, is to kill nerves. The way they say to do so is to believe that there is no prize at the end of the road. To be playing a practice skrimmage but secretely have it count as a championship game.
How will I kill my nerves? I need to believe that when i speak to her it will go no where. Which technically is true. Most the women i talk to for the first time usually end up far from being involved in my life. So what I should expect is that we go get coffee talk for a little bit and she goes back to studying. And I go do whatever. Hmm. Contemplation contemplating.
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