90% sure Milk makes me depressed

For the past 2 months or so I've eaten cereal everyday and drank milk at least 1-2 times a day. I couldn't figure out why i felt so much like shit, but it seriously clouded my thinking.

I experimented. 4 days i didn't drink it or touch anything dairy for that matter. I felt like a fucking king. Today I accidentally ate oatmeal that my mom laced with milk. Complete fucking shit day until later in the night. Probably didn't help that i forgot milkshakes have milk in them.

I don't want to give up dairy, but if it must be done it must.

Africa is still a mystery. I've grown strong. I plan on asking her tomorrow if she's still struggling with the same shit. I'll probably open it up with talking about relationships. Then I'll ask her what her situation is.

side notes: she made me brownies this morning, told me to text her, i caught her with her fucking stares yet again.

If all goes well tomorrow, it wont be the last day I'll see her until after spring break. I'll tell her we should do something.

-emotions: I want to give it a swing, but I know what pain that could follow if it doesn't all fall through. I will speak half-willed, but fate knows I want to throw my heart under the guillotine to show her the life that could be. But something new is stopping me from doing so. I think my heart has the ability to hold memory. I want to ask her plainly: So whats your situation? are you still having the same problems with douchebag? hm.

(want to start something?)
If yes, i know i'll speak all the right words.

If no, i'll use her as a friend who gives much needed advice:
how does a relationship even start?
how do you hangout with people?
how do you know when to leave?
how do you know what to do with friends or a girlfriend?
how often should you see each other?
is it weird to see each other everyday?
is it worth hanging out with someone if you don't have any goals or plans?