Befriend

To find a heart.

I'm afraid of relationships with my friends.

Its hard for me to get close.

I never say how I truly feel because I know they wouldn't understand.

That they would belittle my feelings.

"Then they're not your true friends"
Shut the fuck up you limited narrow minded fuck. Couldn't you think of anything else to say that actually carries value? Don't you think I've tried looking for friends that would deal with what i feel?

This makes me out to be malicious but the people who feel like I do, I don't relate to them. I don't like them. I judge them. They are poor, mistreat their bodies, have no sense of work ethic, and lack a will to push forward. They carry on conversation that is portrayed to have great value but they don't realize its fucking trivial to most.

I cannot find a connection.

This is why man loves stories of alienation.

I am still afraid to venture to find these "friends." The word cuts through me like a gun echoing in a hall. I get flooded with emotion and feel vulnerable.

Obsessed with you.
But I shouldn't be.
My cousin mentioned you.
I said I don't ever want to hear that name again.
I don't want to talk about it.