Watch dog

I'm laying in bed and all I can think of is how to find someone.

Why? Why am I thinking about this?

Why does it feel as painful as lighting my self on fire? Because of all the times I've failed?

I don't know how anyone should act.

Everyone I've ever tried to love makes me feel like I'm just doing it wrong. Made me feel like I'm a fucking alien. Some kind of inhuman monster who wants to wear someone's skin.

I'm not.

I'm a fucking human being who just wants love.

So why don't you like being around your friends?

I do.. But its just not enough for me. I'm not contempt. I'm not fulfilled. I feel like I need more than them. I feel they can't make me feel the way I need to.

Drinking coffee at five in the after noon apparently keeps me up until two in the morning. Great.

When I meet people, I know I'm flawless. I know I'm charismatic and funny. I know I'm charming and attractive. I guess some where along the line people just find out they can't connect with me. We don't have the same humor and values. The only people I can connect with are emotionally unstable it seems.

Breaking at the seams.

I feel like I need a drink.

A rip of a bong.

A line of coke.