Instincts

Were right.

You were never honest.
Its only what I deserve.

Next time, don't "protect" me.
Save that for someone you hate.
Because it hurts erasing
The words "I adore you",
"I'm not going to leave you for someone else."
from a place where my security used to lie.
And know for every letter of every word that you misguided me with were moments
Where I'd spend hours, days, weeks,
Fantasizing of
Holding you, meeting you,
Learning your smile,
Feeling safe, but now,
I no longer have to watch my back,
To make sure,
That you're right behind as before.
Because now you'll never be there in the first place.

I want to cry.
I want to forget.

I want to rip my heart out of my chest and burn out my eyes.

I want to stop feeling for love.