A Drug without the Obscenity

Obscenity. I don't know if i spelled that word right.

Today was mundayne. It was strange because it felt happy. until I took my medication of course. For some reason or another, I've it in my head that when I take my medication immediately after my day goes to shit. I've been taking it every other day now, trying to lower my levels.

I've so much shit to catch up with. I haven't seen my mother fucking doctor, i haven't seen my college counselor, I haven't been abiding to my contract for my


my eye hurts way more than usual. i just took my contact out and i can so easily imagine my sharp nail just cutting into the white of my eye. Digging in, scooping a portion of it out. Leaving nothing but a chunk of space where something should be. t's slowly filling up with blood now this space. it seepeed through some smal capilaries that lay just under the white. It's pooling up congealing closing uip the wound. My eyes are shut so excusae the errors if there ar. a constant squeal when the laptop gets asurge of a fcharge. Whe ni plug in the power to the wall it humms non stop. It's a dying cannary that steals your attention and focus. Throwingasdf

Fuck. i miss how elaborate my writing once was. I felt it was so much more focused then it is now. But i guess that's because of who i've become. I wonder if it reflects the type of person I am now.

I used to write with purpose and such thought in every little word and detail. I felt like talking with Tuesday made me write more "raw" as she put it. Without thinking. But There's more beauty in the intricasies oone could develop  with time/

Theres 

MOTHER FUCKING . stupid ass laptop keeps fucking my writing up. it puts things in places where they don't belong!@ gjsdflkgjs;fgksjf well fyck thuis. i'm going to sleep.