Well fuck. Here I am on a Sunday night staying up late on the 4thweek of working 7 days a week. The event is actually pretty common place. Looking into space contemplating life and its choices, desperately searching for solace.
Solace. Fuck I forgot what it felt like to have my feet on the ground. I forgot what it felt like to exist in a world where everyother word spoken is a trigger for terror. I was just starting to get happy by my self, but than Ember. I feel like life is strangling me by throat. Its causing me to kick the floor for grip. Make me feel like it could be the end. This fucking Ember.
I feel like I yell at her so much but my internal emotions say completely otherwise. But I fucking love her so much. To the point where my life depends on being with her. If im not, I couldn't even imagine what id do. People reading this would be thinking, that personality is horrible to have, he must not know it. Well I fucking know it. I know it exists eats and breathes. I cannot exist without love.
I guess that means im becoming a rather particular person. One that may be found crazy. I felt like, I read a psychiatric disorder described me... diassociative personality? Hm.
Anyway. Ember.
She's in florida...
With another guy...
Who she says isn't fucking.
-she told me he tried to get with her yesterday but yelled at him and had her big black friend yell at him too.
Going to a school in florida...
-that she's planning to leave after she gets 3k... from someone? In a weeks time.
Doesn't have a license
May have a drug problem
Barely answers my texts..
Constantly tells me she loves me
Those are just bad things..
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