Fuck so where have I been? Well, no where. It's time to cut clean and cut deep. Firstly, Tuesday, I'm sorry if you've been hurting. I felt like I just needed to be alone for the last few days.
I don't think I can feel love anymore. The thought in my mind is completely.. broken. I mean, I can feel the same feelings of love and attraction, but my experience tells me it's pointless. That one day it'll just end. Like the way I ended it with X. My mind tells me, why are you going to bother to find someone when you know either you or her will fuck it up. One of you will just, give up. It's hard enough to have one person to have unending commitment. I feel like, even if I had the girl who lives so far away, I still wouldn't be satisfied.. I feel at unrest. I can't stop standing.
I feel horrible. At myself. With the loss of lack of love, i'm finding myself becoming more.. Apt for sex. I'm finding I don't care about relationships as much because I can't find anyone who can relate to me. I can't find anyone who feels the same way I do. Who knows the revolting truths of most people. Who gets sick the world so easily, and can't do anything but help themselves to fall head over heels for anyone. Who you can tell anything, and they still wouldn't mind. Seriously, when did people become so uptight? I can't empathesize.. maybe that's my problem?
Fuck.
You know why I like listening to explosions in the sky? It makes me feel like i' mdead. Like i'm no longer in my body. Like i'm in some distant place, where the physical doesn't exist and theres only emotion. waves of energy flowing like the aurora lights.
Can't you stay?
While this feeling in my heart grows to die everyday?
I'm going to get high and blast eits.
No comments:
Post a Comment