Sunday, October 2, 2011

Old

I feel like an old man in a young man's body. I feel like i've lived a hell of a life, and now I'm alone after the death of a spouse. I feel like i've walked through everyone's shoes and could say i've been there before. I feel like there's no more room to grow and i've hit the ceiling. I can't find that connection everyone so effortlessly makes. That one where people can have a relationship. I really don't understand where it comes from. What makes people so much more adept to be in a relationship then I? What makes someone a good partner? I really don't understand it. I feel like. I'm a fucking mutant. something of another species walking among mankind. I look human on the outside. But as soon as someone gets to know me, it's just.. well. A red flag gets set. My friends don't call me unstable.

Breaking thoughts.

Everything is slowly losing meaning.
Hold on, Hold on.

2 comments:

  1. You're
    just down
    in rut--
    keep telling
    yourself
    you can
    get out
    of
    it.

    If you
    keep
    going
    on
    I'll
    press my
    feet
    into your
    footsteps
    and
    follow
    you.

    *adoration*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do you think you're not capable of feeling the way others do? You can find anything you need, and it sounds like you've got someone willing to help you bridge that gap already. Which is more than most can say.

    ReplyDelete