Fluttering like a fucking butterfly.

Tuesday,
 You make me realize what it's like to feel.
 The warmth you put in me shocks me.
I feel nothing outside of my thoughts of you,
and when you arise,
A flood of emotion that controls me in my entirety..
There is nothing in the world that makes me feel the way you do.

Smoke

I think the withdrawal is filling me with testosterone.

I'm excessively irritable.

I'm furious.

I blow up screaming at the slightest incident of loss of control.

Every noise a person makes me want to yell in their face

Ive felt dizzy since the afternoon.
I'm far off.

Diseased

Like a venom in the blood
I rue tears from thoughts
Memories, turned morbid
From a now empty mind
Yearning for drugs and inebriation.

Liberate

I've stopped taking my medication.

Dont go searching

My heart never existed.

Silence

It's moments like right now that make me wish I was never born.

Desire

You cannot bend stone.

Infuse

Take me from my soul, take me from obligation.

Holdout

Im always depressed and it calculates into my wants a desires and goals.

I don't realize it as a fixed feeling within me.

I do have moments of clarity.

I'm so angry I can't even think of what to write to express myself

Uncorrelated

Hang me dry like a corpse in the sun
Have my flesh turned to ashes
Let me fly away in the wind
Death is only the absence of living

Losing Taste

I feel strange, more of a lack of feeling.

Things all around me are becoming mundane.

Not in the sense that things make me depressed.

Things have lost their light.
Their glimmer.

Why?
What is it I want?
Can I get that which I look for?

I'm having thoughts of cutting,
And feeling pleasure in knowing Tuesday would seek out why I was feeling this way.

It deeply comforts me knowing she actively seeks that I'm okay; That I'm feeling happy.

This thought is the only pleasurable moment of being awake today.

I don't mean to be an "attention whore" I can't find happiness anywhere else right now and I'm holding back tears.

Place

It is difficult to accept your absence.
I unfairly yearn for you even as I sleep.

Circles

I'm laying in bed.

My life isn't terrible but I'm still hurting inside.

I feel like there's so much in my life I don't agree with.

I feel that everything is just so difficult.

I'm starting to think I'm crazy because I choose to be. That I'm unhappy because I want to be. That I choose to avoid things. I don't even know anymore. All I know is that I'm in a frying pan and I want to get out.

Am I a sociopath? Is all I want attention? Why? Is that going to get me anywhere? What happened to my goals? The things I had set in life that were to make me happy?

Why is it love will save me? How do I know its all I need?

I need to escape fear.
I need to embrace my identity.