Scars

I have to say, I hate this new lay out for writing blogs. It's rather irritating. I can't recognize where to begin anymore.

Well, it's been a while since I've tasted the ink i put onto these pages. Fuck. I'm losing a lot. At least it feels like. I'm trying to find happiness and it's a struggle that not many can identify with. I was talking with T and she was telling me that I needed someone to vent to. That all my life people have vented to me, but not once have I ever had someone who was fully able and capable for me to vent to.

Fuck. It felt great when I told her about x. She was pretty awesome, however her short minded and childish attention span put me off to talking to an extent in which I wanted. But it's probably better that way.

It's funny, she told me that "maybe I just need someone to vent to, who can be there for me when I need them." and it's pretty fucking obvious. It's why constantly searching for someone. Because I need to vent, and i need to vent before I fucking explode.

I feel like my mind is slowly deteriorating inside out. My morals and cares are slowly fading away. I feel like sex is already far too emphasized in my brain because of it's ease of pleasure and that it will always feel the same when I get it.

Fuck.

I'm starving.

The dog's been outside.

I'm filthy.

I don't know where I want to be right now, but I have a feeling by the end of the day, I won't like where I am.