I don't mean to scare

I spent the day High as hell.

I went out with my cousin and her boyfriend. we smoked an L and a couple hits from a bong. I was good for about an hour.. than started getting tired. I got home, ate a bunch, laid down, ate some chocolate. My back pain acted up severely. I couldn't move I couldn't breathe. I started taking my pain pills. I took a percocet, a muscle relaxer, and some ibuprofen. an hour later of writhing in pain i ran to the bathroom. both hands in the tub i ran the water. I threw up. I puked up all the food i had. I drank water from the faucet of the bath tub until I didn't taste puke. I brushed my teeth, I woke up in bed. My mom was there. God damnit she's the best mother In the world I swear. She asked if I was okay and I told her I was just hungry. I told her my back pain was acting up. She went out to the food store and bought 5 bags of food just for me. She cooked ribs, broccoli, and mashed potatoes and brought them all up to me in my bed. She rubbed some chinese medicine all over my back to relax my pain. I ate. I passed out. I just woke up now.. it's 5:36 AM.

I just have thoughts of throwing up in the tub. I thought, is this rock bottom? Am I a druggie? Popping pills, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, not remembering the day, not knowing what time it is? Only one thing is certain.

I'm sorry I'm not there for you.