Straight

Get your head straight,
Don't lie.
Get your head straight,
Don't say that you'll cry.
Get your head straight,
She's better off.
Get your head straight,
She'll be happier without you.
Get your head straight,
You'll need to hold on.

Care, Dont care.

Bleed.

I hate writing on this keyboard.

I see it.
I see it now.
I hate.

I hate myself, and all my responses.
Im afraid of how ill come out.
im afraid of how my words will leave my mouth.
Im afraid of how my motions will change your thoughts.

Tuesday.
I can't do anything right now but tell the truth.
Im losing belief.
Belief in anything.
Everything.
Id tell you id want to move to sf.
To get to know you.
I've thought about it
once I get my license,
after finishing my semester here, ill pay off my lease
And just leave.
Leave to find the west coast.
To see what the city has to offer.
To hope you'd spend time with me,
That you'd heal me, and id heal you.
But I don't think you'd like to hear that.
I know you may not feel that way anymore.
I extinguished that flame, and now
Im holding hands with a dream far from reality.
No one wants to hear anything I've to say.
No one cares about these eyes anymore.
No one cares about these lips.
No one wishes I was by their side.
No one knows how its all I thrive.
I don't care about games,
Not while my heart is empty.
I don't care about friends,
Not while I have no one to caress.
Its a fucked up thing I know,
But tell me im an idiot, be my guest.
But guess what? It can't change who I am.
And if I could I would, because I had a dream about death last night,
A dream where I was shot, in the face.
I challenged them to do it,
To shoot me.
-because I didn't think they could get away with it.
But they did.
and all I felt was bliss.
As my friends near me cried and shouted,
I lost sight and fell back as my face was splattered on the walls.
I was happy.
it was serene.
I died and went to a heaven, with no fear or remorse, just that bliss.

Thats right. Give me reason.

I can't settle.
No.
Not anymore.

Girls.

Want you to bend.
And flex.
And twine
To become a complex statue.
That they find beautiful.
And when you ask for a favor,
They've no hands to help.
No heart to care,
No time for you.
Just them.

Love is an equation.

No one seems to care.

Possibility

Its been a while since I've tasted this feeling.
Let's just hope it doesn't cease,
from fear,
insecurity,
Lack of expression,
To be a ground underneath.

Losing Trust

In myself.
i'm losing it.
you're losing it.
he's losing it.

I just want to rest.
  Knowing I don't have to worry.

Vyvanse Re-Script

Vyvanse makes me happy.
It makes me proud.
It makes me motivated.

It takes my hands and makes awe.
It cultivates my eyes to let in beauty.
It makes my tongue persuasive and passionate.
It makes me forget a long lost lover.
It makes me take pride in being alive.

Johnny Five. Johnny Five.