Coming down.

The vyvanse is wearing off. Im turning werewolf.

I cant take this fucking two faced bullshit that I go through.

Im not reserving anymore. Im planning on dying alone.

Sometimes life is better spent alone.

Where no one can hurt you.

Where you can find your skin still outside your body.

Where your mind isnt afraid of whay will happen when it acts.

Im on vyvanse and im strongly realizing my life is hell without it.

Aced

It's my birthday today.

breathe in. breathe out.

I feel pretty terrible because of how I may act. I feel I have to put up a show today.  Come one come all, to see the great feats of our protagonist. I'm not sure who's going to be there but I could kind of careless.

I slept for 12 hours today not wanting to wake up. Ember messaged me because it was my birthday. There's nothing she says that I haven't already heard of before. I mean, honestly she repeats her self like a broken record. Like some strange entity that's no longer here on this earth. She comes back to haunt me speaking of emotion and times that have past that were once in her previous life.

breathe in. breathe out.

Mikhail has been asking if I'm okay a lot more recently. I guess I'm letting some of myself be seen to the world. It's embarrassing. And utterly confusing at that. Because as soon as he asks not only can i portray that i'm fine, I'll feel that I am somewhat. The way I react I feel is impossible to do unless I am feeling okay.

well guess i'm crazy.

Tears

Come as I sleep.

Closer

Coming closer to seeing what a mirror should.
Im breaking crazy. Especially right before rest.
I dont mean to hurt you Tuesday, but when you're rough, I wont be there to feel it. My skin is worn like fresh flesh of a face dragged on pavement.

Go

Get out. Get ouy of your fucking head. Let out. Stop talking like you dont have a reason. Everyone can bleed. Nothing is needed.

This is for me. For you. The one who doesnt care about himself. So well talk and talk and write and write. Because words outside the mind are an expression.

An expression of emotion trapped inside that we cant find how to release, to get rid of to make us feel normal and that were worth it.

So sobriety doesnt have to feel like a day of regret. A day when you feel anxious for every pair of eyes looks at you. Judging you. Showing you how youre not as good as they are cause they can keep it together.

I feel like screaming

If mikhail wasnt here, id record me going on a rant.