At this certain juncture in my life.
This crossroads
This glimpse of an existance
Slide of glass.
I find myself still existing.
It's not surprising. And I'm not saying I'm suicidal. I'm more or less, realizing the unexpected. I stopped thinking forward about where I was going for some time now. Most people see it as a gift-
To truly live in the present.
Maybe more people should have a hopeless outlook in life and accept the fact that what happens next doesn't matter.
In this case feel, my emotions will stay the same no matter what the future brings.
My Corrupt beliefs will stay unscathed atop a granite wall.
I was speaking to my friend at party. I found out that it was his grandmother's birthday. I cheerfully told him my grandmother died on this day, that it was uncanny that his grandmother was born this same day. Like it was some sort of weird cycle.
He responded frankly:
You treat death very funny.
Maybe I show too much of my opinion on it.
I love my dearest.
Her sister passed away, she took her own life.
A lot of her struggles arose from a disease that my love has.
In her mourning she'd break from her tears and manage to speak out:
How could she do this?
How can I kill myself now?
I can't do that to my mother.
When she saw deep into the hole of her life, she'd tell me:
I hate having you here.
You would've been one less person to let down.
Maybe I'm meant for these relationships. The people and connections. Maybe I'm the only one out there who can handle these situations. Maybe the universe knows what I'm capable of and needs me to right the wrongs of mankind, but after all, we arejust part of the big equation.
