A Dark Hole with all things Somber.

In this pit where I find nothing
I see my phone flash a message
With none to be found

In a new body with muscles
So i can forget the world in which
she says I'm her ground
she says I'm her everything
she says I'm her husband
she says I'm her future

I fear one thing she'll never say is,
I was lying.

I'm tired of feeling alienated.

Not just from Ember.

Fuck, fucking fucking fuck.

Really?

Yes.

You don't say.

You know you haven't talked to me in a while.

You're right.

Let's have a hearty conversation.

I don't think I can make it last long enough.

Well, than fucking talk about what every gets the thing off your chest.

WELL lets FUCKING see.

Ember.

She says nothing BUT, I love you.

 Fuck her.

I don't feel like talking about her.

This is the last poorly written thing I said to her:

"If you seriously can't take the time out of the day to talk to me, and have the time of day to put up new profile pictures, Don't talk to me.

Facebook > Me.

If you don't like that let me know, but I don't figure you'll get back to me."

 

FUCK

YOU

EMBER.

 Because I really fucking need you, and you don't even fucking take it into account. 

I feel like crying

She sent me this

This feeling

Formed from dreams
Makes things to be displeased.

Ember.

She's fucking dangerous.

She's so fucking shady.

You know, I guess this is the real me.

The me, I know and love.

The me, who Ember doesn't see.

But I hold the part she does

Because I'm looking for an explanation

Of her lack of timing.

Lack of response.

Her avoidance of major questions.

Questions in which I die to know.

She's a million miles away

Yet she's got her hands on my heart.

I can't tell yet,

Whether she wants to cherish it

Or tear it apart.

Because i'm scared to look at her in the eye.

As I may intimidate her.

As I may find, what truly lies inside.

Paranoia.

1 hour.
She didn't text back.

She doesn't love me.
She doesn't care about me.
Everything she said was a lie.
The world is crashing.
A guy posts on her facebook, Call me.
A guy comments on her photos
She responds :) <3.

Jealousy is a wicked demon which stands on my back prodding me with it's trident and singes my flesh with his tail of fire.

She messages,

Salvation
It's true.
Well spend our lives together.
She loves me
She yearns for me.
I'm all she ever needed.

I think I'm fucking PARANOID.

One eyed man

Ember messaged me back after she disappeared. It makes sense that once everything has burnt up that it'd leave small coals glistening red hot. She told me she loves me.

God I'm so fucking weak. This girl, she's too fucking much for me. I think it wouldn't work out between us but every time she tells me she loves me or calls out to me I buckle and give in. I know I shouldn't. There's nothing that can come of us. She won't come up to new jersey, and I won't go down to florida. All of her friends I'm sure are party goers. I'm sure they love clubs. I'm sure they spend every night drunk. I'm a nerd. Id rather spend my time with just me and my lover. I don't need clubs. I don't need drinks. I don't need to get fucked up. I don't need to run out to the fancy city every Friday night. I don't need the anxiety of people. I don't need any of that.